Steve’s victory was both hard-earned and strategic. It was quite a remarkable effort on the fairways and greens but perhaps even more noteworthy was his performance during Friday evening’s Star Chamber. Steve’s effort began at about 9:30 pm. He was ably assisted by Michel “the Shiv” Ranger and Che del Castillo.
Interestingly, the knife man and the socialist rebel did most of the heavy lifting, always presenting “evidence” as to why a Sandbagger’s target should be ratcheted further downward. Whenever the blindsided defendant or his supporters seemed on the verge of reversing the trend set by Shiv and Che, Steve would chime in with a witty quip that either distracted attention or reminded people of who they didn’t want to win.
As as result, the target scores for 2013 had reached an all-time low, without any evidence presented in the Star Chamber to support the epidemic of optimism regarding people’s capabilities on the course. (indeed, the “optimism” turned out to be just a thin coat of well-wishing applied over a coating otherwise recognizable as a strong desire to screw your neighbour).
The unholy alliance proved very useful for Steve, but Che, who has a soft heart to go with that impressive mind and golden voice, became ridden with guilt. Senor del Castillo succumbed to demons, suffering nightmares about the blood he had spilled. He turned into a tragi-comedy on the golf course. After a summer of swinging the clubs like a pro (and taking money off his friends), Andy carded 107 and 115 to finish dead last, with an accumulated score of 222. The best that can be said is that we know his conscience, if not his swing, is still intact.
After being the front-man for the vicious assault on fellow sandbaggers, the Shiv (aka Michel Ranger) fared somewhat better, but could only manage a 5th place showing. Despite recording the second-lowest accumulated score (177), Michel was 15 over his target. It occurred to me, at some point, that the Shiv’s attitude may have been affected by the fact his target was somewhat (perhaps unreasonably?) harsh. But perhaps I’m being too generous. Maybe he’s just a mean bastard.
Brian Joe came in a commendable second, moving up from 4th going into the final round. Brian pretended to be put off at the thought of winning, feeling himself still a bit of an interloper. With another season or two under his belt, he will feel justified in taking the coveted Cup home.
Not surprisingly, the ever-steady Derrick Hockley played well, shooting 92 and 97, to finish third, just 13 over his target. He was heard to swear on several occasions, including at poor Rick who had the audacity to be in the way of Hawk’s laser-like 250-yard drive on hole #1 on Sunday.
It’s probably a good time to mention that last year’s champ, Greg Jarvis, went into this event with a punishing target of 75 but managed to stay competitive by carding a 79 on Day one. Unfortunately, he played like Sergio Garcia (or Che del Castillo) on Sunday and folded like a cheap pup tent, dropping from 2nd place to 8th. Greg can still lay claim to having recorded the lowest accumulated score (170) – for all that that’s worth.
Now that we’ve covered the leaders, I’ll run briefly through the also rans — my apologies to anyone who believes they were done a disservice by my lack of colour commentary regarding their undoubtedly impressive skills. I invite y’all to submit anecdotes about the highs and lows and habits of these Sandbaggers, as well as the leaders I’ve already mentioned.
Richard Hogeveen finished 4th at +14, with an accumulated score of 200. Rich can take solace in having won $52 in the blind skins game on Sunday. Less solace in the fact that some people scattered before paying him…
Michel the Shiv, as mentioned, finished 5th, at +15, with an accumulated score of 177.
Ricky Cunliffe finished 6th, at +17, with an accumulated score of 199. He’s getting too good.
Yours truly finished 7th, at +19, with an accumulated score of 193. Worth noting that I told you all I would shoot 96. I averaged 96.5. Trust me next time. Really.
Greg Jarvis, as mentioned, finished 8th, at +20, with an accumulated score of 170.
Andy Posthumus finished 9th, at +23, with an accumulated score of 209. This past champion is still rehabbing from his heart attack. The cigars are chock full of medicine.
Greg Hodgins finished 10th, at +24, with an accumulated score of 210. Greg has a deceptive swing. It looks great.
Sweet Lou Riccoboni finished 11th, at +25, with an accumulated score of 199. Lou was sleep deprived due to Mia, his then 3 month old daughter. He’ll shoot in the 80s next year. Mark my words.
Geoff Oliver — he coulda’ been a contender, but was pulled down by his playing partners (see next two finishers) finished 12th, at +35, with an accumulated score of 197.
Bruce “the Anvil” Murdock (one of Geoff Oliver’s two burdens on Sunday) finished 13th, at +41, with an accumulated score of 219. Bruce was shooting the lights out with mid-80s all through August. As a consequence, he played like he was in the dark in September.
Andy “Che” del Castillo finished 14th, with an accumulated score of 222. With a +44,
Andy’s nickname should perhaps be revised to match that of another lefty who liked to stir drinks — Reggie Jackson!
We regret that Michael Maidment was unable to compete but appreciated his attendance and look forward to his return next year. Keep in mind that he is now running Ottawa’s Food Bank if you’re ever looking for a worthwhile charity.
Thank you to all those who consistently took on kitchen and barbecuing responsibilities. It seemed liked Greg Jarvis, Andy Posthumus, Rich Hogeveen, Ricky and Greg Hodgins were constantly busy (forgive me if I neglected to mention anyone worthy). The food was excellent. The $150 for accommodations, two dinners and two breakfasts was the most efficient deal we’ve ever managed. I think I heard a chorus of recommendations to return and I believe it was clear that two Sandbaggers, in particular, want to return to the scene of Saturday’s carnage: Bruce Murdock wants another crack at the Perth course (111) and Andy del Castillo (107) wants to duke it out with the Perth course’s charming assistant pro.
Send some photos if you’ve got them. I’ll create a gallery as there is for the 2011 Sandbagger (check it out
here).
Congratulations again to the very worthy 2013 Sandbagger Cup winner, Steve McMahon.
Until next time.
Cheers gents.
