Targets: Sandbagger XX
The 2015 Star Chamber all started so pleasantly.
Though our 2014 Champion, Michel Ranger, was off examining dykes somewhere in Holland, he took the time to send us an eloquent toast to be read by yours truly. Michel’s goal was to initiate a new tradition: the Star Chamber Champions’ Toast, a fine idea that shouldn’t have taken 20 years to be adopted. Let’s give credit to Michel for kickstarting this and keep it going.
Mr. Ranger also established a second fine tradition which future champions should continue to honour. He graciously provided some Dutch Champagne (aka Heineken) – thank you Michel!
In his toast, Michel thanked our hosts, saluted past champions and added a tribute to the recently passed Henry Mains, whose wonderful cottage is accommodating 12 of our crew this year. May he rest in peace.
We then began the round of target setting, with a tenuous agreement to be civilized and to set targets that were reasonable aspirations for each competitor (credit to Blake Johnston for suggesting “aspirational”). While there was the usual whinging, posturing, bluffing/lying and negotiating, for the most part the group was respecting this approach.
It kicked off with past champions Steve McMahon (85) and Brian Bonnar (97) each being granted very achievable targets. Jack Pantalone’s 94 seems like a soft target, as well. Though he claims to have only played four rounds this year there was no one on hand to make a liar of him and he was given the benefit of the doubt. People were being nice.
As the charitable atmosphere continued, Derrick Hockley, one of the finest golfers who has yet to win the Pewter Mug, was granted a thoroughly achievable 88. Put some money on him.
Greg Hodgins and Andrew Posthumus had respectable targets of 98 hung on them. Both are proud enough to want us to believe they are capable of aspiring to sub-100 rounds.
Michael Maidment shot a 76 earlier this year in South Carolina (foolishly letting the world know by posting it on Facebook). Despite this, an act of charity occurred and he escaped with a target of 83. Or maybe I’m hanging too much on that one round of Mike’s.
Ricky, who, just like in 2014, is playing some of the best golf in his life, seemed to feel his target of 90 was unfair but, given that he beat that score at least three times this summer – on the very courses we will be playing -, he should be considering himself fortunate to have targets that he so recently proved he can hit. Jeff Mains also set a personal best earlier this year. With his target bumped back up a few notches (to 118), he may capture his first Pewter Mug.
John McKinnon (83), another fine golfer, lied about being a Royal Ottawa member. For his sins, he was going to be saddled with an 81, however he was granted some relief for having being one of the evening’s chefs. Past champion Geoff Oliver (87) was similarly treated with kid gloves out of gratitude.
Here’s a phrase clipped from 2014 and entirely appropriate again this year: “Greg Jarvis can never be discounted, due to his skill and consistency, but living up to the 79 target is quite a task. If he pulls it off this year, his target will be mired in the low 70’s for the rest of the decade.” Enough said.
Had Doug Anderson not slept through the Star Chamber his target would have been 97. In fact, it was 97 until some uncharitable Sandbagger posited the theory that no one not present to defend themselves or explain why they should be given a reasonable chance of winning should be treated so well. His revised target of 95 is thoroughly achievable but it is fair to say that Doug is a Jekyll and Hyde golfer (like so many of us) and almost as capable of shooting 89 as he is of shooting 105.
Bruce Murdock’s 93 would have been appropriate a few years ago but he, too, suffered from putting personal needs (his son Jack’s 8th birthday) ahead of appearance at the Star Chamber.
Brian Joe ,who was also absent, has struggled with injuries of late. Andres, acting as his proxy, managed to secure him a target of 92 which Brian could easily have exceeded a year or two ago. If Brian wins, he will owe it to Andy.
The three who consistently took money off of me during skins competition this past summer — Andy del Castillo, Lou Riccoboni and Blake Johnston — all seemed quite content to allow themselves to be pegged with targets of 90 (though Blake suggested it was pride that prevented him from arguing for a higher target). I can tell you from costly first-hand experience that, when they’re on, Andy and Lou can easily go low 80’s. And, Blake Johnston shot 85 in competitive skins play just two weeks ago. It’s not too mentally challenging to aspire to something that was so recently achieved. These three no doubt left the Star Chamber smirking.
Which brings us to your hard-working Sandbagger Commissioner. This is where the pleasantries ended. Somehow, despite losing money to these three amigos all summer, my target was pegged at 89, just a notch lower than those who beat me regularly. No one spoke up on my behalf. When I challenged the three highway robbers — Lou, Andy and Blake — to accept the same target as I, they went mute. I will try to let this travesty of justice inspire me to exceed my skill. If this approach fails, as is likely, I will pursue revenge in 2016.
In conclusion, let’s all keep in mind that very few, if any, of us will hit or beat their aspirational targets two days in a row. I think its safe to say that most people have at least a shot at winning in 2015.
In my view, the winner is going to be one of the following: John McKinnon, Geoff Oliver, Derrick Hockley, Andy del Castillo., Mike Maidment, Rick Cunliffe, Lou Riccoboni. Five of those seven would be saluted as first-time winners.
Good luck to everyone.
Anderson, Doug
Anderson, Jim (1997, 2008)
Bonnar, Brian (2001)
Cunliffe, Ricky (1999, 2009)
del Castillo, Andrés
Hockley, Derrick
Hodgins, Greg
Jarvis, Greg (2006, 2012)
Joe, Brian
Johnston, Blake
Maidment, Michael
Mains, Jeff
McKinnon, John
McMahon, Steve (2004, 2013)
Murdock, Bruce
Oliver, Geoff (2000)
Pantalone, Jack
Posthumus, Andrew (2010)
Riccoboni, Lou
95
89
97
90
90
88
98
79
92
90
83
118
83
85
93
87
94
98
90