The Sandbagger

My most vivid memory is of Brian Arbique who, after hiding my wallet under my golf bag in the back of the cart, proceeds to grab the wheel of our golf cart and recklessly steer our cart into another golf cart (claiming that there was absolutely enough room for us to pass the other cart), causing me to suffer pain and suffering (whiplash), and destroying a golf club (driver) in the said other cart, much to the chagrin of the French-Canadian women in the said other cart.

My other vivid memory (walking in on said Brian Arbique in the washroom while he was sitting on the toilet and allegedly fingering his Playbook) is, regrettably, another equally vivid and painful memory….Fortunately, there is no photographic evidence of either incident.

Tags: Sandbagger XVI by Jack Pantalone
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The Sandbagger competition began in 1996. We have had many champions who fit the above description to a tee. Perhaps the most notorious was Michael Holmes who came out as a rookie in 1998, proclaimed himself a 105-type golfer and then proceeded to fire a blistering, “career-best” 87 at Royal Laurentian. He lives on in infamy, but dared not return the following year.

The Sandbagger champion for 2011 was a similarly (un)worthy winner. Were it not for the fact he is a roguishly charming cheat, whose frayed cargo pants and Arnold Palmer loop swing were always good for a laugh, Brian Boychuk would undoubtedly have been tarred and feathered for having sandbagged his way to a comfortable victory.

Tags: Photos, Results, Sandbagger Chronicles, Sandbagger XVI by Sandbagger Commissioner
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To commemorate the fact that we have lurched, limped, tinted (Brent: where were you?) and grumbled our way to the half century mark (notable exception: Rich Hogeveen, who was limping much earlier but nonetheless looks just 40) we took the Sandbagger to the southern United States.

Eleven Sandbagger veterans and one under-age rookie (49-year old Brian Boychuk, more later) assembled in Fountain Hills, a suburb of Phoenix, Arizona.  To protect us from the abuses of the american legal system, Jack Pantalone was lured from retirement.  As it turns out, Ricky was on his best behaviour and there was no need to find a bail bondsman and schedule a quick court date.  Jack took good advantage of the unexpectedly free time by shopping, cooking and cleaning. We are grateful to Jack, and especially Rick, for their notable sacrifices for the greater good.

Notable storylines from 2011 include:

• Greg Jarvis’s daily 100 mph race to the golf course after his “inner GPS” failed him. Apparently, he managed to avoid being charged for vehicle damage caused by white-knuckled fingers dug deep into the plush leather.
• Meat, meat and more meat. Colons are still recovering.

 

Tags: Sandbagger Chronicles, Sandbagger XVI by Sandbagger Commissioner
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